plans.

thesis life is definitely taking its toll on me.

----

forgive the vanity. =)

this is a picture of me the week after ate loy's wedding... when i singlehandedly outlived the first semester.  

i sported four huge pimples! 

(which, in my theory, represents the four architectural subjects i took last semester.)

just thinking of how i can go through the next months is enough to make me lose my appetite. haha. 

(but i do eat EVERYTIME i work on my thesis. it's my way of bribing myself.)

---

whenever thesis work enter my mind, i suddenly feel a rush of energy and i get to accomplish a LOT of OTHER things.
(yes kids, our generation has a term for it. it's called "PROCRASTINATION".)

like today, when i was wondering how i can translate my newly conceived architectural concept (because, as my thesis adviser said, i need to 'make sabog' pa.) --- i suddenly felt the urge to laundry my undies and clean all my shoes.

(actually just one pair of sneakers, one pair of running shoes, two flip-flops and 1 rain shoe. i can't stand dirty footwear so i really make sure they are clean everytime i wear them.)

i was planning on eating outside in time for dinner. (plus, i need to buy some basic stuff. cotton for my facial toner, bread for the weekend.)

then when i checked my bag from last night, i was surprised to see a cheeseburger from McDo. i am not one to ditch perfectly good food so i ended up eating it along with my stock of pineapple juice.

i only have barely two weeks to finish up all my architectural plans. (one week, if i want to refrain from being stressed over printing.)

i wanted to go home over the weekend, but  i can't. i need to tie myself here at home, focus all i can and get down to business.

so, here's me. PLANNING.

i need a gameplan and i need it now!

----

i met up with two of my good friends from work last night. i had a blast. ^_^

before our 'reunion', i have to spend some time in fully booked first. 

(just because the smell of books make me happy.)

while waiting for mia, dean and i had dinner at TOSH (located at sm annex).

i had my usual favorite: carbonara. =)

the three of us watched a movie together. (the movie isn't even worth mentioning. hahahaha.)

and then we stayed at padi's point (in skygarden) for a while. 

before parting our ways, we took a couple more pictures (more pictures on my facebook):

i do need some random quality time with friends. 

now, i feel like i am ready to face my thesis again.

----

wait. i want cibola's carbonara for dinner. 

hum-hum

there.

i am taking baby steps. i am trying to take my "old" life back. getting back the connections with my "old" friends. (most of whom are happily married, with kids.)

just last night, i managed to ambush my two bestfriends --- mark and icha. too bad we were not able to take pictures of how we bonded at tomato kick (the one in maginhawa, where my boarding house is just meters away). we shared stories, and talked for hours (or was it just me talking?).

here's a photo of the last time we saw each other. (back in july 2009, when we met up with my bestfriend rio)

i love those two guys to pieces. and although mark and i went through A LOT of rough patches together --- i am just so excited to be a ninang to his first born.

oh yes baby avienne, i will be your ninang. =D

last night, i told my guys that i couldn't help but feel the sense of being left alone. for the first time (EVAR!) i feel the pressure of actually considering the thought of settling down someday.

alright. i have to pause right there. (before i get too serious. HAHAHA.)

i've been happily unattached for the past 25 years of my life and i had loved every second of it. it's great not trying to make your life fit with a member of the opposite sex. i've always been contended sharing my moods with my family, and my close set of friends. until... hmm.. 

ate loy got married last weekend. she found her one true love. her soulmate. (yeah, i know. i am still on the way-too-mushy-zone.)

and then i saw how happy icha and mark is last night. 

there's this nagging feeling inside me. i am afraid i am not cut out for the "family life" some time in the future.

NOW, THAT SCARES ME.

---

some photos from the epic 10.10.10 wedding:

i love how i look so nice and clean and happy on this shot. 

this was taken seconds before the four of us decided to have our "souvenir" shot. 

i just have to ditch the gown (and the hair and the make-up!) as soon as my maid-of-honor duties are over. hahaha. that's the newly wed with us. =)

for the sake of comparison:

here's me all made-up:

and me, tons of shampoos after: 

that hair was heavy. and that make-up took its toll on me. 

(i am now sporting four pimples which i believe represent the four major subjects i took for my "last" first sem.)

----

and for those clamoring for the gown i wore:

---

10.10.10 marked the date. i did three things i NEVET enjoyed doing. i wore a "gown", had make-up, and wore heels. 

i still have a lot of emotions pent up inside.

yun na muna ngayon. happy photos!

baby steps. =))

----

btw, after eternity, nagkaron kami ulit ng contact ni gigie. amazing how God moves. ='D

qualms.

that cliche about the sudden (and really stupid) downpour of doubt whenever you are nearing the end?


IT IS TRUE. i think that's exacty how winners and losers are determined. 


the act of winning (or succeeding) doesn't really matter, as long as you know you gave it your best shot.


----

i had my first architectural consultation with THE-BEST-THESIS-ADVISER-EVER last thursday. we did met a couple of times for the thesis proposal, but the latest meeting was different.


albeit, mas nakaka-pressure. @_@

our last thesis submission for this sem is due in less than a week. i am not even halfway through it and honestly, I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN FINISH IT.

deep (real deep) inside my heart, i know i'd rock this thesis year. but my braincells (yes, i am blaming YOU!) aren't really cooperating.

good thing i know myself more than anyone else. i am resorting to some positive reinforcement. (see: my "work desktop" picture.)

as of yesterday, my sketchup output looks like this:

if it doesn't make any sense to you... well, it's because it's really not making any sense SO FAR. 

----

here's how i go about "drafting" my architectural scheme. =)

and here's what i need to wrestle for the next two weeks:

----

and yes, my sister's wedding is next weekend. i haven't even seen my dress yet. i don't think i'll have the time to buy the shoes. all i know is that i'd be there, i can't miss that for anything. =)

----

when inside the consultation room last thursday, i played "chess titans". i just have to post this since it was the first time i played the toughest level (where the computer "thinks" for the longest time) and i am just so proud of myself for winning. ;p

i played black. here's the white queen sacrificing herself:

a couple of moves after that, i won the game:

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btw, this blog is best viewed using google chrome. thank you for pointing out the mozilla problem though. i haven't used mozilla in ages. (and seriously, i am a bit curious on how you guys happen to stumble upon my blog! ;p)

how to architect + how i keep my self positive.

i added a new link under my "architecture links" column. it's a very fun and informative no-nonsense website for architects (or architecture enthusiasts). most of the video collection were shown in class by our newest structural professor.

here's the link for how to architect.
----

and hey, thank you for the cbox messages. it's great to hear that i have my share of "readers" outside my friendship circle. ;p

i did notice that most hits came from searching "stefan salvatore". oh yes. of course, paul wesley. =D

----

the new vampire diaries season has started. the big bang theory, how i met your mother, grey's anatomy and private practice's starting this week too!

"Game On!"

As my very geek and pretty friends show off..

and as ted continues to look for "mother". ;p

I'm just glad my favorite doctors are back...

with pete and violet tying the knot.

(cristina and owen on grey's will be saying their vows too. just in case you weren't able to catch that.;p)

My csi friends from new york and miami will also be here to cheer me up. =D

although csi: ny will never be the same without melina. =c

at least, H's still sticking for miami.

----

i have a couple more weeks to go.

i think i am in a state of emotional limbo -- ate loy getting married, mommy leaving for Libya, plus all these academic stress -- and yes, the looming promise of the future.

i am scared. but i am also keeping myself positive.

i know that i will just have to do my best, and God will do the rest. =D

Movie Review: Small "c", Big "P". =)

I am afraid i am about to go down (again!) with the unfortunate full-blown cough-and-colds so i spent all Sunday  NOT DOING ANYTHING. (Aside of course for the occasional eating, and then my mandatory water-binging.)

To let you in on one of my secrets --- i love watching fairy tales and movies for children. I've always felt like there are more lessons to learn from them, and i've always been awed on the genius of the writers.

Nanny McPhee, amazingly, was written by Nanny McPhee-herself. Ah, the marvelous Emma Thompson!

It was the PERFECT movie for my lazy day.

I loved the first film, but i have to say that i loved this one even more. There's Maggie Gyllenhaal (i didn't know she speaks british oh-so-fluently!) and Maggie Smith (her character was THE baby from the first movie, right?).

And Ralph Fiennes (i still can't decide who i love more: him or Joseph. hum-hum.) And Ewan Mcgregor (Haha, fangirl on the loose!).

Too bad Nanny McPhee works a very different way. Maybe we have to make her feel that we need MORE of her (a third movie's in the works!) and not give her the feeling that we WANT her. (it did take her years before she came back. both in the film and in real time.)

Directed by Susana White and written by Emma Thompson, It's a 10/10 for this movie. =D

countdown to:

• the end of the semester: 10/07/10. but that doesn't mean i'd be free from academic strain by then. thesis never ends. =) 
• ate loy & kuya earl's wedding: 10/10/10. passive resistance. ;p
• mommy's departure to / for Libya: sometime after the wedding. i-think-i-am-still-stuck-in-the-denial-state.
• the end of the academic year: late march / early april 2011. hmmm.
• my first real job as an architect: as early as i can.
• the grand high school reunion: late 2011. 

spread me thin.

I am logging in a lot of hours online these days. Not really on that facebook site (i am back to mafia-ing, but it just isn't as exciting as before), or my what-used-to-be uber plurk addiction.

I am more of a twitter and gmail person now. With my ym id (francesleana) back in shape, you can probably see me online most of the time.

I have been trying to revive my part-time job as a writer. So i went back to my original writing hub at Essays.ph.

(Crappy bayantel service literally ruined my reputation over the weekend. Argh. It's a story worth telling... which i am planning to share, in full detail --- once we've officially changed our broadband provider. HAHAHA.)

Ehem.

Talk about multitasking: I am currently having a fun chat with my former-roomate-turned-study-buddy --- with both my gmail and twitter pages open, and these two 400-word articles i need to rewrite and submit before 10am --- this attempt to write a worthy post will obviously end up not making much sense.

And, as usual, this post will be resorting to "tidbits". (leaves less time for thinking, and eliminates the necessity to connect thoughts.)

• i am currently eyeing this cellphone:

TORQUE's TQ800.

It's a wifi-capable, tri-sim phone with wireless fm!

I am such a cheapskate --- I am loving this unit because the pricetag is below 6k.=D

• i am planning to spend time with my thesis "readings" all day tomorrow and hopefully, have that running start for the third submission (on September 7).

• i am generally feeling good about myself. (yes, i have to post it here.)

Oh, Life is good. I have a perfect God, so I am living the perfect life.

who knows?

my yahoo email was hacked it morning. i have absolutely no idea how it happened, and i do wish it won't happen again. i am a relatively simple internet user. the sites i visit are almost the same everyday --- facebook, plurk, twitter and google. my formspring account is now disabled (hehe), and there's only that freelance writing forum that i visit at least twice a week.

so, i have to delete the arkitek_lea yahoo account. i spent the past three hours cleaning up the inbox of the yahoo account that i'll be using now. (i'm back to my old ym id: francesleana). i don't usually use my yahoo email, but i need it for my thesis egroup.

(just for the record, my official email address is arkiteklea@gmail.com)

you can see all my personal sites inside this blogsite. (left-side, under "today, in Manila". yes, that weather app was added today!) and i hope i'd be safe from any kind of hacking in the future.

----

my mafia wars is haunting me. i resolved to stop playing last summer. oh no. should i play that app again?

(okay, i am back mafia-ing. hahaha.)

repost(s).

i miss ranting / raving about movies or books or stuffs i simply want to write about.

i should have given my (current) take of "review-worthy" flicks --- but i just can't find time for it. thankfully, i have the luxury to laze around today.

after watching BBC's "SHERLOCK" (it's a must-watch!), i just found myself visiting my previous blogs. (notice those lines at the top of this page? YES, i am a nomadic blogger. i had some previous postings. in fact, i've been polluting the net since 2005, me thinks. ;p).

i managed to salvage these links, my rants about a couple of movies (and a book). since i have to update this blog (pilit na pilit, hahaha), maybe these links can work for now. =)

• on the book "Tuesdays with Morrie".
• on the film adaptation of "Angels & Demons".
• on "Aeonflux".
• on Keanu and Sandra's "The Lake House".
• on the Pinoy pseudo-era flick "Moments of Love". (Yes, the one with Iza and Dingdong and Karylle.)
• on the Toni Gonzaga-Sam Milby movie "You Are The One". (i believe that was their first?)

i enjoyed rereading them. it's like listening to myself talking months and months ago. read 'em when you have some spare time. and drop me a comment. i'd love to hear your thoughts. =)

KJ-ing around. (an open letter to my 2b roomies + 1.)

YES, i am a self-proclaimed KJ. i am not really proud of it, but i am comfortable being one.

i do love spending me-time. i write weird things on my wall. i do have the knack to "forget" about my friends when i am bombarded by a lot of things. i am KJ because most of the time, i seclude myself from the rest of the world.

when my schedule's messed up, i get jittery and bratty and i bet you have seen that cartoon-ish look on my face. it's not hard to miss. and you know i am never good at hiding my feelings. ;p

i know that i AM not the most efficient arki student. (hello, eight years in college!) so forgive me, if i irritate you when my OC-moments come by. i promised myself that i will make this year my most productive year EVAR. i promised myself that i will make ME proud.

i am not leading that path alone, because i'd be happy to walk it with you.

to shayne: when you officially start working, paunang paghingi na ng paumanhin, should i not be my best me. =)

to kit: our youngest, and thursday-"bondmate" --- you know you can always ask me anything. ;p

to hazel: my first ever friend-turned-roomate --- though i still can't find that "common" thing between us, you know i can always be your ate. =j

to carla: my starbucks-buddy. oo na, ate mo narin ako. hahaha. =D

the bottomline is just this:
APOLOGIES --- when i am not always my BEST self, when i make you guys feel alienated.
(case in point: kakornihan sa "DECONSTRUCT 2". but i went there, riiight?)

you know i love you and i will always strive to (at the very least) be a good-enough roomate.

----

there should be pictures! but i should be working on my thesis. and 173. and 176. hahaha.

=D

cheers for the memories.

Okay. Apologies for these crappy photos. Those are screenshots (yes, the old fashioned printscreen magic) from one of those UPCA memories i won't ever forget. (*sniff, sniff* damn you estrogen! haha.)

After the (now usual) starbucks-techno day with future industrial engineer Carlotta (i mean, Carla), I just found myself logging in to my multiply account, browsing over my dear friend Jas Molina's videos, searching for this particular dance. way back when i was thinner. and when i was trying to dance my way to happiness. 

some practice photos (albeit in better quality):

that's me with ralph, rich and shayne --- cramming thru the steps. haha.

and here's shayne, (now my newest roomate!) helping me catch up with those moves. =))

and what's a dance practice without the kenkoy group shots? ;p

And here's our "cha-cha" group just minutes before dancing:

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download for the latest flashforward episode is done. i can sleep now. =D 

-----

something to look forward later: 

"girly bonding" with Carla at Nail Treats. because my dear friend needs a little break. =D

all's well, it'll end well.

i succeeded on staying at the UP main library from 10:30am up to 2:30pm today. my goal was to study for the exam on Monday. it's too high maintenance to stay in technohub. i also need to lay off my caffeine intake anyway, so using the library as my new "hangout" is the most feasible thing to do.

BUT. real study time took just about an hour. HAHAHAHA ;p 

i have this unexplainable affinity to books. when i happen to be near one, i swear i can hear them calling out my name. yeah, staying on the same room with the biggest book collection in the country is a major major MAJOR mistake... or not. =)

it was a healthy alternative to staying in front of dell (mafia-ing, plurking, emailing) , munching over junk food (only pure water is allowed inside the library), and a good way to escape the sun. i didn't actually read the books from cover to cover. i simply scanned it, taking down notes along the way. i am sure i made my braincells proud. =D

i managed on salvaging three books. one was "the idiot's guide to catholicism", another was all about building self-confidence, and the other one was about stress-proofing one's life. i am trying to rekindle and upgrade my vocabulary and english skills so i imposed a five-word-a-day rule to myself. given all those three books, i was able to list down over twenty. haha. 

i am not really supposed to bond with dell now. so let me just post this. just for the sake. =))

because i'm old school. (and really vain, sometimes.)

i finally gained 'nuf courage to post a new facebook profile picture. it's the same picture i posted from my previous entry, the one showing my relatively new 'do. i don't really want to post it, as i don't want to get "embarassing" compliments. haha. but a procastinating mind's gotta do what it can do, riiiight?

i spent time tweaking it a bit--- blurring it a little, changing it to black and white. (the result is a huge old-school-looking, id-worthy, amateurish pic.)

i don't usually register well on cam, 'lest i am on my "angle". (sorry to burst the bubble guys, but there's an entire encyclopedia of tricks we follow to make us incredibly pretty for pictures. hahaha.)

yes, i am very much aware, that picture isn't my best shot... which is why i like it. =)

(is it just me or is my writing style migraine-worthy? forgive me folks. my writing depends on my mood. three fourths of my brain's all used up--- math54 formulas. *ahem*)

i am still not used to THE bangs. this summer hell (read: killer temp!) isn't helping me on my quest of "letting my hair down". i am just slowly internalizing the look. (the haircut's pretty expensive, you know. ;p)

i have to document my state of mind too. even though i know i probably won't be so proud of this particular entry.

it's just that... good things happen whenever i blog.

and again, a procastinating mind's gotta do what it can do.

my profile pictures thru time:

my very first fb profile picture. 

shot taken january 2009. 

cropped from a picture with my younger sister ba.

 

i loved how i "glowed" on this one. 

this is a picture with my bestfriend icha, July 2009.

note my genuine-looking, super warm smile. 

shot taken early this year.

if only i didn't put my hair up, this picture could've transcended all of my pictures to date.

haha. vain ego signing out. ;p

because.

i promised myself i'd be writing something here before this week ends.
and promises made to thy self should always, always, always be fulfilled.

just like how i promised not to enter politics (ever again) once i leave secondary school. three years later, i entered the UP architecture student council. (and made history a year after that. haha.)

just like how i promised myself i won't be neglecting ANY of those responsibilities i willingly accepted. (i missed class today because i "overworked" myself yesterday.)

just like how i promised myself i won't stay up later than 2am. here i am, still not in my pajamas, typing away.

if there's one soul who suffers my eccentricities more than any other person--- it's me!
(ay, anlabo. hahaha.)

but still. here i am. fulfilling a promise i made to myself:
I WILL BE WRITING SOMETHING HERE BEFORE THE WEEK ENDS.

and to spice up this page, here's "my life" through my phone's random pictures:
(more photos are on my facebook page.)

Sir Carl Joseph Jamosin--- my would-be source of summer happiness. HAHAHA. 

Last-Summer-Class-in-UP FTW!

Blueberry Cheesecake = ultimate comfort food.

And Friuli's triple cheese pizza.

And I heart Froyo's Large Cup with blueberry and strawberry and apple cinnamon.

And Cibola's Carbonara.

Yes, this year I am re-igniting my love for goooood food! =D

As I've said, I super love Friuli's triple cheese pizza. =))

and... i finally had my haircut at Piandre-Trinoma. 

Best experience by far. 

I didn't post this one on facebook, as I don't like to "hear" the comments. Nyay.

But no, those bangs aren't staying. hahaha. =p

Now, I can check that "Weekly" Checklist. 

(Plus, I finally came around and watched the three Flashforward eps. YEY.)