hum-hum

there.

i am taking baby steps. i am trying to take my "old" life back. getting back the connections with my "old" friends. (most of whom are happily married, with kids.)

just last night, i managed to ambush my two bestfriends --- mark and icha. too bad we were not able to take pictures of how we bonded at tomato kick (the one in maginhawa, where my boarding house is just meters away). we shared stories, and talked for hours (or was it just me talking?).

here's a photo of the last time we saw each other. (back in july 2009, when we met up with my bestfriend rio)

i love those two guys to pieces. and although mark and i went through A LOT of rough patches together --- i am just so excited to be a ninang to his first born.

oh yes baby avienne, i will be your ninang. =D

last night, i told my guys that i couldn't help but feel the sense of being left alone. for the first time (EVAR!) i feel the pressure of actually considering the thought of settling down someday.

alright. i have to pause right there. (before i get too serious. HAHAHA.)

i've been happily unattached for the past 25 years of my life and i had loved every second of it. it's great not trying to make your life fit with a member of the opposite sex. i've always been contended sharing my moods with my family, and my close set of friends. until... hmm.. 

ate loy got married last weekend. she found her one true love. her soulmate. (yeah, i know. i am still on the way-too-mushy-zone.)

and then i saw how happy icha and mark is last night. 

there's this nagging feeling inside me. i am afraid i am not cut out for the "family life" some time in the future.

NOW, THAT SCARES ME.

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some photos from the epic 10.10.10 wedding:

i love how i look so nice and clean and happy on this shot. 

this was taken seconds before the four of us decided to have our "souvenir" shot. 

i just have to ditch the gown (and the hair and the make-up!) as soon as my maid-of-honor duties are over. hahaha. that's the newly wed with us. =)

for the sake of comparison:

here's me all made-up:

and me, tons of shampoos after: 

that hair was heavy. and that make-up took its toll on me. 

(i am now sporting four pimples which i believe represent the four major subjects i took for my "last" first sem.)

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and for those clamoring for the gown i wore:

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10.10.10 marked the date. i did three things i NEVET enjoyed doing. i wore a "gown", had make-up, and wore heels. 

i still have a lot of emotions pent up inside.

yun na muna ngayon. happy photos!

baby steps. =))

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btw, after eternity, nagkaron kami ulit ng contact ni gigie. amazing how God moves. ='D

qualms.

that cliche about the sudden (and really stupid) downpour of doubt whenever you are nearing the end?


IT IS TRUE. i think that's exacty how winners and losers are determined. 


the act of winning (or succeeding) doesn't really matter, as long as you know you gave it your best shot.


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i had my first architectural consultation with THE-BEST-THESIS-ADVISER-EVER last thursday. we did met a couple of times for the thesis proposal, but the latest meeting was different.


albeit, mas nakaka-pressure. @_@

our last thesis submission for this sem is due in less than a week. i am not even halfway through it and honestly, I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN FINISH IT.

deep (real deep) inside my heart, i know i'd rock this thesis year. but my braincells (yes, i am blaming YOU!) aren't really cooperating.

good thing i know myself more than anyone else. i am resorting to some positive reinforcement. (see: my "work desktop" picture.)

as of yesterday, my sketchup output looks like this:

if it doesn't make any sense to you... well, it's because it's really not making any sense SO FAR. 

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here's how i go about "drafting" my architectural scheme. =)

and here's what i need to wrestle for the next two weeks:

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and yes, my sister's wedding is next weekend. i haven't even seen my dress yet. i don't think i'll have the time to buy the shoes. all i know is that i'd be there, i can't miss that for anything. =)

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when inside the consultation room last thursday, i played "chess titans". i just have to post this since it was the first time i played the toughest level (where the computer "thinks" for the longest time) and i am just so proud of myself for winning. ;p

i played black. here's the white queen sacrificing herself:

a couple of moves after that, i won the game:

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btw, this blog is best viewed using google chrome. thank you for pointing out the mozilla problem though. i haven't used mozilla in ages. (and seriously, i am a bit curious on how you guys happen to stumble upon my blog! ;p)